During quarantine, though, all self-consciousness has disappeared.
But I know how I’ll be perceived when I leave the house.
It might not always show: my collar pops strangely, my black Vans are dirty and worn, and my pants have small stains. Despite my protests, she bought me a pair for Christmas. My heels hung off the back, but they were easier to slide on than sneakers and kept my feet warmer and drier than sandals. I started putting them on to take out the garbage, to turn the water in the garden on and off, and to let the dog in. (She chose orange so they’d be ugly enough that she wouldn’t be tempted to wear them in public.) The ability to hose them off after weeding and planting made sense-she could get them as dirty as she liked and it didn’t matter. My opinion softened in 2017 when my wife got a pair for working in the garden. Vogue called it the spring 2020 it shoe. They haven’t gotten any less ugly, but they’re more trendy than ever and sales are going up. Arianna Grande and Pharrell are showing off their Crocs on Instagram. In 2019, the shoes were the 13th most popular brand in America among teenage girls. The next year, Balenciaga brought them to Paris Fashion Week. In 2017, Christopher Kane showed them off with his summer collection. Style icon Post Malone has done multiple collaborations with Crocs. But I wouldn’t dare be caught in those clunkers like the rest of them. My car smelled of wet sneakers for months. They made perfect sense because they were waterproof and closed toe-a camp requirement-but I wore Nike Dunks or Vans instead. When it rained and I walked campers to their parents’ cars, I suffered the consequences: my socks and shoes got drenched and I’d have to drive home barefoot. Surrounded by teachers and hippie counselors who donned this cushioned footwear, I made a choice to ignore my fellow pool staffers and forego Crocs. They’re the least flattering shoes on the planet.įor years I worked as a lifeguard and swim instructor at a summer camp in Concord, Massachusetts. Former Project Runway star and fashion icon Tim Gunn once said they made his feet look like hooves. He’s not wrong. The company launched in 2002 as a boat-shoe brand and is known for making ugly footwear. When I first saw Crocs in a store, hanging on a rack like a cacophony of ugliness, I swore I’d never own a pair.
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